Friday, April 9, 2010
Not great News for our Brandon-Please Pray!
We went to the Dr today to find out about Brandon's x-rays. It is not great news-my 6 year old baby has a broken hip bone (from the x-ray it seems to be an old fracture) but he also has two cysts on the bone. At this point we do not know if they are cancerous or not. We will be going to Cook's in Dallas sometime next week hopefully to see a cancer Dr. to see what we need to do to check these two spots and to see if he has any other areas any where else and where we go from here. He will have to have surgery to remove the cysts and possibly do a partial hip replacement. That we do know.
I am asking selfishly I guess for people to pray that it is not a rare bone issue or cancer. I feel like I am having a night mare and I will wake up any minute and it will all not be true. I am scared-I am sick with worry and yet I am calmer than I thought I would be. I know this is one of those times where it is only the prayers of fellow believers getting my husband and I through this all. It is only God's grace that I have talked with tons of family and friends today and only broke down crying half those times.
I keep questioning "Why Brandon" and yet I stop and think "Why Not?" every parent out there with a sick child wishes it was not their child-or it was them instead. We are not promised this life would be easy-without trials-without sadness-without fear or pain-only that God will get us through it and make it bearable to deal with. I know He loves Brandon more than I imagine-millions and trillions of times more than I can ever imagine and that is hard to believe because I would trade places with him right now if I could.
I have let myself cry and even question why not me-he is a baby-(he is 6 but he will always be a baby to his mama) I have never dealt with pain of the unknown like this before-I could never imagine being a parent of a child that might be sick-have cancer or some other disease or possibly even go home to glory and yet as I sit here crying and typing this I have to think-HE IS IN CONTROL! Before He even knit Brandon in my womb he knew on 4-9-2010 the news we would get at the Dr's office and that we still would not know what the next few days, months, and years would hold for our family.
If I believe in the good times that God is faithful-I must also believe in the not so good times my God is faithful.
Please pray for our other kids and Brandon-he is scared-we don't have many answers to tell him until we can rule out cancer or not and when we will have surgery. I know our God is a mighty God, bigger than any of this and that is what I told him and what we believe and what we are clinging to.
I weep as I write this because he is my child and the pain he has but will endure in the future and it brings me once again to the cross and the pain my savior endured for me. I know who holds not only my future but my sweet, precious Brandon's future and it is nothing but good for us- no this is not our home-just a resting place for now.
I am just not ready for that time to be now-so I ask for your prayers. I will keep you posted as to what next week holds and what will happen from that time on.
I love you all for loving my baby enough to pray for him even though we may have never met!