Happy Birthday Sweetie!

Today is my sweet hubby's birthday!  I am planning on running to the store to buy all the things I need to make the following birthday menu:

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We are excited that today it our daddy's and my sweetheart's Happy Day (Analeigh, our 2 yr old calls it that. )  I hope you have a wonderful Happy Day-you are the other half of my heart-I am so blessed that 16 years ago that God brought you into my life and 15 years ago He made me your wife.

Thank you for being such a wonderful daddy and super husband.  We are truly blessed.  I pray that today is filled with extra special blessings just for you!

Love you with all my heart Michael Jones!

PS.  On another note-Brandon is healing slowly-this week seems like about 6 weeks-but Praise God he is healing and the last few days he has been walking on his crutches more and not really need pain meds but at bed time.  YEAH!  God is so good-thanks again for all your prayers.  Love you all-thank you for lifting my family up in prayer when we really needed it-I had a (not like me at all) super natural (for a lack of a better word) calmness the whole time he was in surgery for 5 hours-I knew it was because we were being prayed for by so many people.  That was a wonderful feeling to have!

I am off to get ready to run to the store for a day full of baking.

Have a Happy Day(even if it isn't your birthday!)

Sweet Friends-Yummy Cookies-Sweet Boy

I got my sweet Brandon up today-I got him up in the wheel chair for awhile this afternoon.  A step up from laying around all day.   He is in a lot of pain-which makes my heart very sad-his pain ball that was numbing his hip is now all gone so after some pain medicine tonight Mike and I are going to try and take off the tape-tubes-ball and dressing over the stitches-I must admit I am a little scared about doing this-not fun-and I am sure there will be screaming and crying from his part-crying from mine.

I don't do well with one of my kiddos hurting.  I actually thought about going back to school to be a nurse because I love people and would like making them feel better-but there is a part of me that doesn't think I could do it-my heart gets so heavy for hurting people- especially when it is people I love-it makes me sad and depressed when they are sad and hurting.  My poor baby boy is really hurting and I didn't think it would be quite so painful and when he cries and says I am hurting him (not what I want to hear when I am trying to help him) it breaks my heart into pieces. I am afraid if he keeps not moving it is only going to get worse and become more sore-he doesn't get that-but I can't just pull his leg down to the floor and make him stand-so there isn't much I can do-I am growing weary and worried.   Just prayed a long time today about it-trying to give it all over to God-He has gotten us this far already and I know He will bring us all the way through it-just a little harder than I thought it was going to be.   This is also the busiest time of year for me with my job at the church as the Children's Choir Coordinator and our programs are coming up in 3 weeks and I have so much to do for them and I am going no where because my Bran is home flat on his back.  Ok, enough venting!  I am done.

On a brighter note-my choir teachers for the Kindergarten class-Mrs Beth and Mr Greg Young and Tracy Patterson and Christy Adkins (Brandon is in their choir) sent him a yummy cookie basket and it was so sweet.  It did add a little bit of sunshine-and sugar (smile) to our kind of gloomy day.

Thanks to my wonderful choir teachers!  Thank you for loving my little boy every Wednesday night.  He loves you all.

On this Pathway -

Jill

My Rose Bushes

When I got home tonight from Fort Worth the weather was just beautiful-about 78 and a little windy (always is here in West Texas) and the sun was out.  So nice-it has been rainy and cool for about 5 days off and on so it was so nice and see and feel the sun.  When I pulled up to our driveway on the side of the house I could see my rose bushes blooming all sorts of beautiful roses so I went to trim off the dead blooms and feed the bushes a little with some rose food and take some photos to share-they are just so pretty right now.
Just wanted to share a little of the beauty I saw in my flowers today with you-I love spring time.

A happy ending to a day full of blessing already.

Take Time to Smell the Flowers

Jill

Whew! We made it home.

This will be short and sweet cause I haven't really slept since Tuesday morning at 2:00am-last night we were at the hospital right outside the nurses station and so it was very noisy and I didn't sleep like my sweet Brandon because I didn't have the great pain meds he had in him. lol   So, I feel like I ran all the way home from Fort Worth behind the car-I actually drove home with a friend of mine, Donna and her grandson who lives near there and is coming for a visit for a few days and Brandon.  We got home, I ran to pick up the others at school, ran to the pharmacy to get Brandon's medicine(for pain) and by a friend's house who is loaning us a wheel chair for a few days.   When the pain is not so intense we are supposed to be able to use his leg and apply pressure but right now it is not happening.  He is really hurting and the pain ball that is attached to his hip that numbs it every few hours will run out tomorrow-so I think the next few days will be worse before it gets better.   Praise God we are home though and the healing can begin.  I am amazed when I look at the x-rays what they are able to do-I thought who ever thought this would work-screwing screws in a bone with a metal plate-really who said "I think I will sign up for that!"(?)
We are trying to settle in early tonight and get back on a schedule-Brandon and I are camping out on the couch tonight-it is closest to one of the bathrooms and I think his bed sits too low to get in and out of it(bottom bunk) at this point-so I don't know how great I will sleep but I am just glad to be home where we belong-with my other kiddos and hubby and cat and dogs. lol
We serve an amazing God-I am truly humbled by His grace for me and my beautiful family He has blessed me with.

This is what my new bionic man's hip and leg look like from the inside now-the upper screw into the hip bone is harder to see where they packed the bone graph material around it but see the 3 screws that go into his leg bone?! Kind of scary looking.  He is resting peacefully right now and so I am gonna hit the couch along with him.

Good Night for now!

Happy Dreams

Jill

Waiting to go home

We didn't sleep much last night-every few hours they were in to check on Brandon and give him pain medicine.  He is doing ok this morning-sad and missing his family and wanting to go home.  We are waiting for PT to come by and see where we are at on moving about and showing how to use his crutches for a few days till the pain is less.   He is supposed to be able to walk on it now but he is so little and they had to pull back the muscle on his leg to get to the hip so I think that and the spot on the bone where they removed the cysts and put in the bone graph material and plate and screw are just really hurting his tiny body today still.   It makes my heart sad to see him cry when they try and make him stand and move-he has never had to experience  pain like this before.
 As a mama I wish I could take it all away.  But over all he is doing so well and I am singing praises to my Heavenly Father for once again even though I don't deserve it-loving me and my sweet Brandon so much that He has protected us through this whole proess.  Our whole family felt covered in prayer yesterday-it was a long 5 hours in the waiting room-trusting the Dr. and nurses to know what they were doing in there on my child-but I knew that God was in that very room guiding their every step and that all of you were praying for them and Brandon that whole time.  
God is so faithful to me-I think this whole experience has taught me something I have known since I was 15 but have always maybe not trusted 100%.   God is in control of EVERY area of my life even the times that seem not so happy or what I would choose-I have to trust that He wants and means only for the good to come from any situation in my life and that I need to believe no matter what the circumstances may be if I only trust Him he will lead me through it and in the end I will be able to say "Thank You Lord-to God be the Glory."  I have always know this and believed it-I just think maybe these last two weeks I have had to put my actions to those beliefs and that God truly have it all.   I felt such a great peace in letting Him have all this and be the one leading and directing us and not ME being the one to try and fix it all.
Thank you again for your prayers-I am so blessed to be a par of a larger family-the family of God where we truly can love and care about people we have never even met because we have a common thread that bonds us together-our Lord and Savior.   I love and thank each of you and I am praying for God to bless each of you in a special way.
We have a long journey home today-please pray we make it ok with as little pain as possible for Brandon.   Pray he would be able to start standing and moving more each day with less pain.  He has been a trooper.  I am so proud of my six year old pumpkin-I think this whole experience has changed his little heart - thanks again.
Love and appreciation-Jill

Praising God for answered Prayer

Praise God it has been a long day-up since 2am drove to Fort Worth-we had to be here by 7am.  We got here and Brandon was pretty scared about his surgery but he was such brave boy-he only cried for about 5 minutes before they wheeled him into surgery.  It went really long-they told us they thought about 3 hours-it ended up being about a little over 5 but  PRAISE GOD-she was able to do the plate and screw in his hip (the intermediate size so we will get to grow a little more with it before we have to have it out.)  That is a huge praise-no cast either and that is a huge praise as well.  He has a large incision in his thigh and it is bleeding through the bandage a little-he also has some tubes and a pain pump ball on his side that will last for three days that is taking in some blood and fluid-pray for me that I would know how much is too much and if it is starting to get infected I would know when and what to do.  They tried to get him up and it really hurt him-made him bleed a little too so the mama in me freaked out-but they wanted to see what he could do-we are still sitting in the hospital room waiting to see if we will be staying or not.  Pray they make the right choice and so do we-I don't want to make a 3 hour trip with him in pain-just not sure it will be better tomorrow-it is just going to take time-they had to pull back the muscle to get to the area and get out the cysts and fill it with the bone graph marrow and put in the plate and screws.  He will be very sore and for days-it hurts my heart-but when he is sitting or laying still he seems really well just when he is moving he is really hurting.
Thank you so much for keeping him in your prayers.  Just keep praying.
Love each of you-so thankful for each of  you and your loving hearts!
God is so good!!! Praising Him for His faithfulness.
Jill

Thank You For Prayers-God Answered Them

Thank you does not even begin to let you all know how much all of you going before the throne of our Heavenly Father on behalf of Brandon and my family meant to us all!  I felt surrounded by your prayers all day Wednesday.

I am so sorry that I have not posted anything before now, but Tueday night Analeigh (our two year old woke up at midnight throwing up in her bed.  I had just fallen asleep and heard her crying-I went into her room and felt around in the dark for her paci (gross I know) and I thought to myself her bed feels wet-then I thought oh no-I turned on the light and saw the mess everywhere-she sat up and continued to throw up more.  Mike took her to the bathroom while I stripped down the bed and started laundry and changed her and then sat up the next 5 hours while she continued to get sick and I sat crying and praying worried about what the next few hours would bring.  Would one of us stay home and one of us drive 3 hours alone and take him to the cancer Dr. to possibly hear the worst news of our lives alone-would one or more of the kids get sick on the way there or while we were there (one of the many down falls to not having any family anywhere near by to leave your children with)-I couldn't bare it-so we decided we would all go and one of us would pace the floors outside the hospital until the other one called with the news-at least we would be there together.  I gave Analeigh belly meds which stopped her throwing up finally and we headed out-all of us doing ok.

We got there in plenty of time-2 hours early so Mike and the two older kids eat lunch-Brandon and Analeigh and I didn't eat-just in case he had to have tests run on an empty stomach and I could eat my stomach was turning in knots.   We got to the Dr.'s office at the hospital a little early and filled out our paper work.   I sat there just praying and reading my bible the whole time-saddened by all the little children there some sick-some without their hair, some looking somewhat better-and some like us I am sure waiting to see the Dr. and find out if they had cancer or not.  The nurse came out and said the Dr. was having trouble reading the cd with the x-rays on it-I had another copy-she took it back and came out and said she was still having problems, to which I asked" Can it not be opened or are they not clear?"  She just said " She opened this one but doesn't like them-she wants him to go upstairs and get more x-rays of just his hip area."   So then my mind starting going crazy-I wanted to take his hand and run out the door.  I just starting quoting every bible verse that I could think of that would bring us peace.  We went upstairs and had some taken and they sent them downstairs to the Dr. over the computer.  

They called us back and the Dr.  came in and started taking off his socks and moving his leg around feeling his leg and hip.

She finally started telling me what she thought he had UBC cysts-which PRAISE THE LORD ARE NOT!!!!! CANCEROUS!!!!!  I wanted to fall to the floor-I wanted to cry and laugh and scream and dance all at the same time-and yet I was also so humbled after sitting out there in the waiting room seeing all of the families who hadn't gotten that same news the first time they were there-maybe even that day.  I had to bow my head and cry and tell her I was sorry I couldn't help the tears-I was so grateful our prayers were answered, so grateful for each and every person who had prayed and was praying for us at that very moment.  I even told her that she had been prayed for by many people all over and that we knew we were where we needed to be that day and I trusted what she felt was best for Brandon. To which she just said "Thank You"  not sure if she is a Christian yet or not.

She went on to tell us that if he had not had the break in the bone that went from his hip into his leg and the cyst wasn't the length (across) of the bone they would do shots and wait to see if they would go away on their own.  But his had done all those things so we needed surgery to correct this.  We will go Tuesday the 20th (not sure of the time yet we call Monday morning) but probably about 8:00am and she will go in and remove the cysts and then bone graph the area and then try to put in a plate and screw that will strengthen the area as it goes and keep the area from breaking again.   

The issue is his age only being 6 and being on the small side for 6 his bones are small-she said she may get in there and there will not be enough bone to hook the plate to or they may be too fragile and break in which case they would set it fill it with the bone graph (bone marrow) and then put him in a body cast for 12 weeks (laying flat on his back) not the option we want-we will see-not the option she wants either since there are other things that can happen from not moving and being in a cast for 12 weeks.   We will not know until she gets in there what will happen and how he will come out of surgery-I had to sign a paper saying either might happen.  We are praying for the plate and screw even though again because of his age and size he will have to have another surgery in a few years when he starts having a growth spurt to remove it since the bone can not grow over the plate or it will cause problems later.  If he were older and didn't have much more growing to do they would leave it but that is not the case.

Since the appointment one by one we have all fallen ill to this miserable stomach bug-(why I haven't posted till today) everyone but Brandon at this point!   Please keeping praying about that-I thought we were all on the mends on Sat but today Derek ate too much of something he shouldn't have and he threw up again today-so I am just praying Brandon still stays well or we have to cancel his surgery!  So don't stop praying yet!!!   I can't believe we all have gotten it and no one else has-I told my husband he had so many people praying over him that nothing was daring get near him! lol

Figuring out what to do with all our kiddos is the big thing now-once again no family near and everyone I would trust to leave my kids with (kind of a mama bear-can't help it-I don't really leave my kids-I like them and enjoy doing things with them-I also think since we have never lived near our family I haven't left them much especially over night-even when I went to the hospital to have each baby Mike went home and I only stayed one night so I didn't have to leave them!  I know I am a nut.)  Everyone works or has a bunch of little kids already and can't really take mine on too and run them to school and watch Analeigh-so I think we are taking them with us and then Tuesday night Mike will bring them home and Wed they will go to school and Analeigh to teach his classes with him-(fun times He can't really cancel classes again for the 3rd week in a row) and I will stay at the hospital with Brandon if he has to stay.  The Dr. told us if he gets the plate and screw and comes out of it ok and his vitals are fine they will watch him all day and we can go home that night-I couldn't believe it-it would be the easiest option-just a little scared.  Justing God will direct us and let us know what we need to do.

So, now that you have read all of this-I want to ask that you would just keep praying for Brandon-he has never had surgery-never been put to sleep-never had stitches and he is really scared.  I am really a lot calmer than I thought I would be-I think I am so relieved that it isn't cancer I think we will get through the rest with God.

Please keep praying we all will get well and stay that way and that Brandon stay healthy.

Thank you a hundred times over-I really knew we were being covered in prayer and it kept us going all day Wednesday.

I will post when we get home and let you know how Tuesday goes.

Love to each of you-

Jill-Brandon and family

Malachi 3:3

Malachi 3:3 says: 'He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.'      

 This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.  

One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining Silver.      

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.  

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says:  'He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.'

She asked the silversmith if it was true thathe had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time.  

The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, 'How do you know when the silver is fully refined?'

He smiled at her and answered, 'Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it.'  

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.  

Kelly's giving more away-check it out!

Even more curriculum clean-out!!!

 Well spring cleaning is in the air and my homeschool closet is almost cleaned out.  In light of all the responses for those of you new or newer to homeschooling, I am offering this book too:

 It is a broad brush view of many ways to homeschool. This was a nice read to show the many options out there as well as pros and cons to help you make the choice!  You can go here to read more about Lisa's book.

To enter: Leave me a comment and you will be entered to win!
For extra entries: 

• Blog about this giveaway and then come back to let me know by leaving an additional comment.

• If you follow my blog, give yourself an extra entry.

Remember to leave a separate comment for each entry!
US Residents only, please!  This giveaway will be open untilSaturday, April 24th until 8pm and I will announce the winner by Monday, April 26th.  Please be sure there is a way for me to contact you. 
Check out the other great giveaways during the Curriculum Clean-Out. 

Today's Strength

A friend of mine gave me a book to read the other day it is by Max Lucado and it is called Traveling Light-ever read it?  Well,  on Mondays Alyssa has ballet from 7-8pm and I usually drop her off and then a good friend who takes dance with Alyssa her mom brings her home.  I knew there would be a few people I would see there that hadn't talked with me since Friday and would be asking about Brandon so I told Mike I was actually going to stay and wait for Alyssa.  I ran into a few folks and we visited but I had taken this book with me to read if I got time and I did-which is rare.   I love to read but books for pleasure but that doesn't happen often-so I had an hour to just be me, by myself and quiet, which I haven't really done since this whirlwind started last week.   I opened this book and started reading.  It was like God himself was speaking to me-it is based on the 23rd Psalm.  Things that I know in my heart but it was almost like I needed to hear it being said (even though I wasn't hearing voices mine you-not that crazy yet) but while I was reading things I knew and I am grounded in, yet I haven't been whole heartedly believing.
One thing was this quote from the book
"Meet today's problems with today's strength.  Don't start tackling tomorrow's problems until tomorrow.  You do not have tomorrow's strength yet.  You simply have enough for today."
He goes on to talk about in the next chapter "It's a Jungle Out There" about times in our lives feeling like we are lost in a Jungle (Lynnette-if you are reading this-WOW!  You just told me that story yesterday)
"We ask the same questions, don't we?  We ask God, "Where are you taking me?  Where is my path?" And He, like the guide, doesn't tell us.  Oh, He may give us a hint or two, but that's all.  If He did, would we understand?  Would we comprehend our location?  No like the traveler, we are unacquainted with this jungle.  So rather than give us an answer, Jesus gives us a far greater gift.  He gives us himself. Does He remove the jungle?  No, the vegetation is still thick.  Does He purge the predators?  No, danger still lurks.  Jesus doesn't give hope by changing the jungle, He restores our hope by giving Himself.  And has promised to stay until the very end."  "I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Matt. 28:20)
I needed that-for days I have walked around quoting scriptures in my head about God and how He cares for us-but was I truly believing it?  I have lived in fear for 5 days and if I am honest I am still afraid of what might happen at the Dr.'s appointment at Cook's tomorrow-but the truth is we might not even leave there tomorrow knowing anything more than I know today (I pray not-I am praying that we would find out they are not cancer) except this one true fact, Jesus loves me (and my Brandon) this I know, for the bible tells me so, little ones (and big ones) to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong and He will never leave us nor forsake us.
I really truly feel like I am wandering around in the jungle right now-not able to see through all the trees-but if I will only reach out and let me Jesus grab my hands and walk me through-no matter what is on the other side-He is there for me-getting me through today-with today's strength.

God will make a way, Where there seems to be no way He works in ways we cannot see He will make a way for me He will be my guide Hold me closely to His side With love and strength for each new day He will make a way, He will make a way.

Tomorrow seems so long away from today-in some ways I am glad in others not-I wish I could wake up and we would be on the other side of all of this-I have never wanted and not wanted something to happen so much at the same time.

Thanks for continuing to pray for us.  We will be at Cook's tomorrow at 2:30 Central Time and I would asked you would pray us through that appointment.

Lovingly-Jill

A lesson in Communication

Well for those of you who looked at my most recent blog before this saw where I posted we got our call from Cook's Children's Hospital today and we see the cancer Dr. Wednesday at 2:30. So thank for your prayers that we would here something today and get in this week-Amen for that.

You would have also seen that our nurse to our Dr. called today and said he needed to see him at 1:30 today.  So I said ok and thought maybe he needed to do a check up so we would have a statement of health before we went or to take out his staples or do blood work or something.   Well we got there at 1:15, about 1:55 we got called back to a room and then we waited till 3:00 at which point I had to call and make plans for someone else to pick up my two oldest who were at school because my husband was in the middle of teaching a class and I could not reach him.  That was taken care of and God worked it all out because I already had another friend coming over to watch all the kids because I had called this morning to make an appointment with the school about home schooling or home bound schooling for Brandon for the rest of this year at they were meeting with someone already at 3 about that and could meet with me at 3:30.

So the Dr comes in at 3:05 and the first thing out of his mouth is "So, we are running a 104 fever we better do blood work because they are going to want it at Cook's" to which I spun around and looked at Brandon like I didn't know the answer and he did and said "You aren't running 104 temperature?" like I didn't know-I know crazy-I haven't slept much since Friday!  The Dr. says "So he isn't running a 104 temperature?"  And I say no!  So he says he is sorry he wasted our time-that the nurse must have misunderstood when I called or he misunderstood her and she told him about someone having a 104 and then said by the way the Joneses haven't heard from Cooks and he ran the two together and just said back I need to see him.   Well, we might have a temp of 104 by tomorrow since we sat in there for two hours with all the sick people but I pray not.  Oh, well we got lots of DS time and Analeigh managed to eat 3 pieces of gum because we missed lunch and nap time.  I just had to laugh-at least it wasn't something bad-no news is good news I guess.

One funny thing is Brandon says things that crack us up without knowing he is being funny and so I told him when we were going at 1:30 that they were just coming back from lunch so we should get right in and out of there (not.)  So after waiting for an hour in the room- Brandon looks at me (this is funny cause our Dr is at least 48, married and has 3 kids) and says gee wiz this is taking a long time-his mom must have packed him at least a 100 things in his lunch today!  I busted up laughing and couldn't stop (again lack of sleep)  he didn't want me to tell him cause he thought he'd be mad and not be his friend anymore-too sweet.  When he apologized for wasting our time I said "Oh, don't worry Brandon just thought your mom must have packed you 100 things in your lunch today and it was taking awhile for you to eat it all-to which he laughed.

Well-I am keeping Brandon home at least till we have a game plan.  The school in not worried since we only have 5 weeks left, it will be a medical excuse, and he hasn't missed a day until today.  So that is the game plan.
Thank you all again for your prayers-keep them coming-it would be great to have good answers on Wednesday-I am not very good at waiting!
Love you all-thank you so much for your caring kind words and prayers, and making me and my family feel so loved and covered in prayer.
On His Pathway-
Jill
These pictures have nothing to do with any of this but Analeigh was being her funny self at bed time-she goes around tucking everyone else in and jumping on the bed and is really funny so I stuck some on here-God knew we need our little bundle of JOY to make us laugh at times like this.

Ok-here our journey begins

Cook's called and we are going Wednesday at 2:30 for our appointment with the cancer Dr.
Also, Brandon's Dr called and wants to see Brandon today at 1:30-not sure why-concerned a little-just because I am not sure why but we are trusting God-it may be for blood work or to check to make sure he is healthy before he goes under to have an MRI or something not sure-but right now I am letting go and letting God.
Thanks for your prayers.

Letting Brandon Stay Home

Well the conversation started yesterday with Brandon about going to school today for the first time with crutches.  He fell this weekend with them but was ok but if he falls and re-fractures the hip again we are looking at some really bad problems and a total hip replacement.

So I awoke this morning at 5:30am with I guess kind of a panic attack, I really felt like I shouldn't send him to school today.   I went into our home office and told my husband what happened and said I am not sending him to school to which he said ok.

I don't know if at this point it is just fear and I am living in it at the moment or if it was God telling me he needed to be here.  Two years ago June 5th Alyssa, our oldest daughter (while we were visiting my husbands family that live in Chattanooga TN) went swimming with some friends of ours there.  She got in water that was too deep and she isn't a super great swimmer-can swim but not laps or anything.  Anyways, she was on a board playing around and got were it was too deep and didn't know it and stepped down off the board to which she was not planning going under and did, with her mouth open and all took in all that water started to panic, screaming for help but the pool was crowded and no one could here her over the noise.  The friend's mom that took her and her sister all of a sudden couldn't see Alyssa and had this terrible fear, ran to the side of the pool screaming and dove in with a life guard-they pulled her out-she was blue and not breathing.  A lady was there swimming that day who was a nurse by profession-she ran over and started CPR on Alyssa and got her breathing until the medics got there and rushed her to the hospital.  We knew nothing of this happening because we were not there, our friends called us on the way to the hospital to let us know she was being taken there by ambulance.  That was the longest 15 minutes of my life-the drive there not knowing what we would see or how see would be.  She was breathing when we got there-very out of it-she could speak a little.  They were running all sorts of test on her and her head was in a brace.  I never felt so helpless as in those moments.  My husband and I fell to our knees-weeping and crying out to God to save our little girl-to help her brain heal completely.  The Dr told us from the levels or acid and her sugar in her blood that they could tell that she had been without oxygen for at least a minute.  They kept her over night and watched her lungs-she had taken in a lot of water and monitored her brain and oxygen levels.  She went home the next day-she is whole and fine and no brain damage ever occurred.
All that to say-that morning I felt like I shouldn't send her and so did my husband and Alyssa her self we found out later didn't really want to go but was afraid they would be upset if she didn't-but we didn't say anything to each other about it-we didn't want to be over protective-she doesn't get to see this friend but 2 times a year and so on.  So we let her go.  Now looking back I think God was telling her and us to keep her home-He still protected her and sent and angel(we still have never been able to find out who the lady was that saved her life) to save her life that day-but I can't help but wondered had we told each other how we felt that morning and she would have stayed home that it would have never happened.

Sometimes I wonder am I being still enough to hear God speaking to me.  We agreed that day if we ever felt that way again we would follow our inner feelings no matter what anyone else said or thought.
So today Brandon is home.  We have still not heard from Cook's so please pray we would hear something today-I am thinking I may pull Brandon out of school for the last 5 weeks and home school him.  I don't know what to do-please pray for wisdom for me.

On this Pathway-
Jill

Kelly's Give Away- Go Check It Out!

Kelly over at: http://lovinglifeslittlemoments.blogspot.com  is having a give away called

More curriculum clean out!

Go over and check it out to be entered.  She has a great blog with really neat recipes and fun home schooling tips.  Check out her post on lap booking too.  I thought this was awesome and she gives you a link to a site where you can get free  patterns and ideas as well.Great gal and a really neat blog.  Worth stopping by.Jill

Took Time to Stop and Smell the Flowers

Brandon was full of questions and some tears today.  At six he is not really understanding why he has to be the one to go through this.  We had a scare while we were out at Wal-mart as well, he fell walking with his crutches and on the hip that is already fractured and has the cysts-scared me to death-him too.  He cried but got right back up and said he was ok.  He is having a hard time adjusting to using them every time he has to be up walking around.  He is a kid full of life and he is hard to slow down-not always easy to do on crutches.
He talked a lot about what might happen and asked me a lot of questions this morning-many I didn't have answer for yet and then he hugged me and just cried-I have been pretty strong around him till then.  I hugged him back and wept as well.  We just held each other and cried.  I think it was really good for both of us in a way.  Tonight at dinner he kept bringing up cancer and asking me what they do for that.  I talked with him a little about it but I said I am choosing to think, believe, hope, and pray that it is not cancer right now-so lets not dwell on that and talk about that part right now-we may have to at some point but for now lets both think good thoughts and just ask God who is bigger than all of this to help us through it.
He seemed ok with that.  Just a few minutes ago while getting ready for bed he was singing the Veggie Tale song "God's Big, I'm little" and he stopped and said "Mom ya know God is so big that I am just like a crumb compared to him-we are all just like crumbs to him-right mom?" It made me giggle-I love that he felt ok enough to talk about possibly having cancer and he was just matter-a-fact with it(of course he doesn't really know what that means-I told him that your body is sick) but then he was processing it and was singing God's big, I'm little-which the song goes on to say that God can use little people to big things too and he is believing God's big-bigger than all of this.
I am believing God will do big things with this situation-with my Brandon.  What an awesome testimony he will have one day when we come out on the other side of things.

On a lighter note,  my Mike (hubby and daddy) had to work some today on a online course to get ready for it  (he will be teaching this summer)  since we don't know what the next few weeks or months will hold for us. So the kids and I ran errands (they spent money from Easter that was burning a whole in their pockets) and then we went to see some friends.  I had my camera in the car and on our way home we went past some fields on the highway (lol-you will see a big truck in one of the photos I couldn't crop out) of Blue Bonnets (the Texas state flower)-we had to stop and literally take time to smell the flowers.  We had fun and I  got to take some photos. Especially loving the ones of my Brandon and cherishing those today.

Not great News for our Brandon-Please Pray!

We went to the Dr today to find out about Brandon's x-rays.  It is not great news-my 6 year old baby has a broken hip bone (from the x-ray it seems to be an old fracture) but he also has two cysts on the bone.  At this point we do not know if they are cancerous or not.  We will be going to Cook's in Dallas sometime next week hopefully to see a cancer Dr. to see what we need to do to check these two spots and to see if he has any other areas any where else and where we go from here.   He will have to have surgery to remove the cysts and possibly do a partial hip replacement.  That we do know.

I am asking selfishly I guess for people to pray that it is not a rare bone issue or cancer.  I feel like I am having a night mare and I will wake up any minute and it will all not be true.  I am scared-I am sick with worry and yet I am calmer than I thought I would be.  I know this is one of those times where it is only the prayers of fellow believers getting my husband and I through this all.  It is only God's grace that I have talked with tons of family and friends today and only broke down crying half those times.
I keep questioning "Why Brandon" and yet I stop and think "Why Not?" every parent out there with a sick child wishes it was not their child-or it was them instead.  We are not promised this life would be easy-without trials-without sadness-without fear or pain-only that God will get us through it and make it bearable to deal with.  I know He loves Brandon more than I imagine-millions and trillions of times more than I can ever imagine and that is hard to believe because I would trade places with him right now if I could.
I have let myself cry and even question why not me-he is a baby-(he is 6 but he will always be a baby to his mama)  I have never dealt with pain of the unknown like this before-I could never imagine being a parent of a child that might be sick-have cancer or some other disease or possibly even go home to glory and yet as I sit here crying and typing this I have to think-HE IS IN CONTROL!  Before He even knit Brandon in my womb he knew on 4-9-2010 the news we would get at the Dr's office and that we still would not know what the next few days, months, and years would hold for our family.

If I believe in the good times that God is faithful-I must also believe in the not so good times my God is faithful.
Please pray for our other kids and Brandon-he is scared-we don't have many answers to tell him until we can rule out cancer or not and when we will have surgery.  I know our God is a mighty God, bigger than any of this and that is what I told him and what we believe and what we are clinging to.

I weep as I write this because he is my child and the pain he has but will endure in the future and it brings me once again to the cross and the pain my savior endured for me.  I know who holds not only my future but my sweet, precious Brandon's future and it is nothing but good for us- no this is not our home-just a resting place for now.
I am just not ready for that time to be now-so I ask for your prayers.  I will keep you posted as to what next week holds and what will happen from that time on.
Thank you!
I love you all for loving my baby enough to pray for him even though we may have never met!
Humbly-
Jill

Please Pray for our Brandon

Well we had an eventful day yesterday.  I got a call from the school that Brandon had fallen while at the park (they were on a field trip while the older classes where TASK testing) and hit his head-bad enough to crack it open and it was bleeding.

Not a call I wanted to get.  I had just laid Analeigh down for a nap and was finally getting into the shower because I had been cleaning and doing wash all morning.  So I ripped Analeigh up out of the crib-threw clothes on and drove to the park which is only 1/2 mile if that from my house thank goodness.  When I got there it looked really bad because head wounds really bleed at it was all over his hair and his hands and it was icky.  I rushed if home and put him in the tub to run some water over it to see just how bad the cut was-I knew then bad enough to take him to the Dr.  Of course the office was closed(lunch time)  I also knew enough to know that he probably did not have a concussion because he had eaten shortly before that and wasn't throwing up or nauseous, he could speak, his head didn't hurt, his pupils were dilating-all the things you are supposed to look for and the bleeding had slowed down.  I cleaned him up while my husband rushed over from across town to stay with Analeigh because I thought they might do x-rays or things she couldn't be with me.  
We got in the car and when we got there we were for only about 15 minutes which was the quickest we had ever been there waiting-they took him back looked it over, cleaned it up and then announced he would need staples.  To which my poor 6 year old broke into tears that ripped out my heart and I cried right there with him.  For those of you who don't know me very well-I cry when I am happy, when I am sad, when I watch a game show and people win lots of money (truly happy for them) Hallmark commercials-you name it-God gave me a very sensitive heart which comes out in the form or tears lots of times!
I tried to be strong for him at that moment-but the real heart ache and fear in his cry-I couldn't hold it in. My mind flash to Jesus on the cross asking God His Father-if He had forsaken Him-I wondered-I know God was not human-but did His heart hurt like mine at that moment-did His eyes shed a tear?  I would have switched places with Brandon in a heart beat if I could have but I couldn't-what had happened had happened and the result was something painful that would ultimately make him better and whole again.  It mad me weep more later to think I caused pain to my sweet Jesus and yet He did switch places with me-He took the pain-what would heal and make me whole-He took my place-my punishment on Him so I didn't have to-that still amazed me after being a Christian for 25 years.

All that to say please keep us in your prayers once again for something new today-while we were there I mentioned to the Dr that Brandon has always walked with a little limp or skip or something like a bounce but it was never super noticeable and it wasn't in pain so I never have said anything to be honest-I don't think I really can pin point a time when I noticed it, it was always there.  He broke his ankle at 1 while learning to walk so I always thought it was related to that in the back of my head I think.

It wasn't till 2 weeks ago he fell at church on his leg and when he got up he cried and said his upper leg near his hip hurt-by the time we got home it was 9pm and his bed time and he wasn't complaining really anymore-I had him walk around (he limped a little) but could do it, jump, hop skip.  So I sent him on to bed with a little Tylenol.  He got up the next day still limping a little when he walked but better and saying it didn't hurt.   Well since then I don't know if it is really worse or I am just more aware of how he is walking so I see it, but I thought he is walking funny.  So when we were at the Dr yesterday I mentioned it and he looked his legs over and moved things around felt his hips and then had him get down and walk and say he is walking a little funny.  So he sent us to the x-ray area to get x-rays done on his bones in his legs-check length and structure-his ankles-his hips and his spine.  We should know something hopefully by Friday.

If you know me you would also know that I know to worry is a sin-that I am not trusting God and His plan my head knows all of that but my heart is a worrier by nature.  So I have been sick since yesterday after the x-rays.  I prayed and cried off and on all night long and I haven't been able to really eat today without feeling like I could get sick.  I know all the scriptures to recite and I know that being worried will not change the outcome of what might be-I can't stop it.  Every time I talk about it new worries come to my mind-times he has fallen or thing that have happened or whatever that makes my mind start to go crazy with fear.

Please pray for my Brandon-he is a little scared-he kept asking me questions yesterday about the x-rays and I didn't really tell him much because I don't know-I just told him they wanted to make sure his back and legs are growing ok.   I want to trust God and His plans for us-for my sweet Brandon-I am just much afraid.  I am just praying that it is nothing but if it is it is something that can be taken care of.
Thanks for letting me rant on here-my therapy! lol  But most of all thank you for going before the throne of our mighty Heavenly Father who knew and planned all this before He ever knit Brandon in my wombwith your prayers for him about all this.  What a mighty God we serve.
In Him-
Jill