Thursday, December 1, 2011

Falling Apart

We have had a few very difficult days this week.  My sister is still waiting to here about if her insurance will cover the PET scan she needs to have to make sure if her two spots they have found on her abdomin and ovaries are not caner.  We still have not heard.  Please continue to pray about this whole situation.
Next, yesterday my mom received a letter from her Dr. (they are now down here living for the winter from NY to TX) saying that there was an irregularity in her mammogram and she needed to come in for another one.   Well, she is 1800 miles away and can't so she had to call her insurance and is waiting to hear from them about getting a second mammogram done here. Stress and worry-please pray that they will allow that to be done here and that they finding nothing.
Then for the last few weeks Mike and I have been discussing Alyssa's learning level and how difficult even HS has been for her.  We don't know what to do for her and we are at our wits end.  So there is a school here that costs $4,500 a year that specializes in learning disabilities and children that learn in different ways.  Although Alyssa has never been diagnosed with a learning disability-her IQ tests revealed (one test a little below average-one average) and her short term memory is bad-until she grasps something she bounces all over in grades on the same subject.  It makes learning difficult because even sometimes when she learns something if we go back to it later, she may have forgotten it.  We have decided to take her to Kenley to be tested there and see what they think-we will have to finish out this year HS because it is a very small school and they are full this year but we can do tutoring there this semester and see where we can go from there for the fall.  Paying for this will be a struggle since I am home with Analeigh full time too and Mike and I don't want me working with our kids at home.  So please pray about that too, that God would provide the money if we are supposed to send her there.
So we are going to take her to Kenley today to get here reading tested and see where we can go from there. She isn't learning like she should and we need help. This is such a blow to me-I wanted so badly for HS to be the answer for her and it doesn't seem to be working-we don't know how to help her and we have hit so many road blocks, I am so frustrated and have been fighting this for 5 years now. I worry about if they find something we haven't known all this time, what will her future holds-what happens when Mike and I aren't here some day-all those things floating around in my head.  I am very heavy hearted today.
Please pray for me-I feel like my world as I know it is all falling apart at the seems right now.  I feel like a failure as a mom, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend, all of the above.  I am really struggling-clinging to God for strength and answers.
Thank you again for lifting me and my family up in prayer.  I appreciate being able to ask you for your prayers.

On This Pathway-


Kristin said...

Dear sister in Christ! I have been there! I'm thanking God that Annilea finally has been able to see some real educational development (it wasn't homeschool for us either, just public school with one awesome teacher who "got" her). I have been praying for you and your family frequently each day. Wish I was there to give you all a big hug!

Janette@Janette's Sage said...

I see why I was to come here have been in my thoughts and prayers for days. I wish I could just give you a hug, let you vent, let you cry and we would also pray over this. Just know I understand in more ways than you know.

Blessings my friend...holding you close in prayer today

cooperkelly4 said...

praying over here too sweet friend!

BARBIE said...

Sweet friend, you are not a failure. This is extremely heavy load you are carrying, and you are not meant to carry this burden. Know that God is close to the brokenhearted. I am asking Him to rain down His peace and strength on you. May He bring healing to your sister, peace to your mom and wisdom to you and your husband concerning your daughter's schooling. Nothing is impossible for Him. It's hard when our world shifts, but He is stable and will not allow you to fall!

Trisha said...

Jill, I just had to tell you, I love you, friend. I continue to pray for you. May you continue to glorify God in the midst of such trying circumstances. A million hugs coming your way.....