Discouraged

I haven't had a chance to do anything since school started except school.  I have been on here to read the blogs I follow and comment when I can but time to type an actual post, not really.
Please just pray for us,  our one car broke down and had to go to the shop to the tune of $965.00 and then it still needs brakes, that was just to get it to start and drive.  Then today while I was driving our van  the temperature gage went almost all the way up to the H.  I quickly got back home with the kids and called a place someone told us to take it but they weren't open so I have to call and take it in the am.  Please pray this isn't a lot to fix.  I am really discouraged tonight.  I know and believe that I was to step down from my job to HS Alyssa, she can't do public school and to be home with Analeigh so we didn't have to do daycare, but without me working our budget is very tight, there is no wiggle room for a new car payment or even for major repairs on the 11 and 12 year old cars we own with all that we owe from Brandon's medical expenses.  
I am feeling very overwhelmed by it all tonight and so I am going to bed with a heavy heart and praying that I good night's sleep will give me better vision for me to give praises about all this in the morning.   The van is the only car we all fit in too so it has to be working, I have to drive the boys to school and back every day and we don't all fit in the car and going to church or anywhere, we can't all fit.  I am just frustrated and sad.  Thanks for your prayers.  I love you all for lifting us up, I know it will be ok, He has never failed us yet, and I know He never will, just so hard to see how it will all work out at times.
Going to bed.  Praying for great things for tomorrow, I am thankful that it didn't break down while I was away 3 hours from home this last weekend so that we didn't have to tow it that far. :)  Trying end this on a positive note. :)
On this Pathway-
Jill

Happy 16th Anniversary My Love

Us 16  years ago-you never think you have changed much till you look back at photos! :)

My girls in my wedding.

I can't believe how fast 16 years has gone.  Today, 16 years ago I married the man of my dreams, the blessing God had given me and I am so blessed.  We never knew what the last 16 years would have brought us, much laughter and tears, heartache and joy, but I am so glad that you have been the one I have gotten to share all those things with.  I love you with all my heart Michael Jones-thank you for loving my like Christ loves the church-and for 16 years ago asking me to be your wife.  I love you.

Mom and Dad Jones  Mike and Me at our Chattanooga reception 

Mom Dad my sister Jackie and Me

(The following is the letter I wrote to Mike on our wedding day 8-12-1995)


My Dearest Michael,
   I love you more today, than yesterday and I will love you more tomorrow than today and even more than that in the days that follow.  You are my precious treasure sent from God.  He knew my desire to have a godly husband, one that I could learn from and follow his example and direction to grow even closer to God, you are all that and more.
  You are a beautiful person both inside and out.  You have a heart that extends out and touches everyone you meet.  You are the most sensitive, sweet and giving man I have ever known.  I am so blessed that God gave you to me to share my life with.
  I hope you know from this day forth I pray I will be the woman of God I need to be for you.  I will do all that I can to support you and help you in whatever way I can.  Most of all,  I will love you with an unconditional love for as long as God allows me to.
  You are my most precious gift.  God has shown me how much He loves me-you are evidence of the extent of that love.  Thank you for asking me to share the rest of your life with you as Mrs.  Jones.  All my dreams  have come true-thank you sweetie for making that happen and for all you do for me, but most of all your love and a lifetime with you to share it.
I love you with all my heart,
All my love forever,

Us today-16years later- a lot more grey, a little more wrinkles and even more in love!

Jill

Tender Mercy

I recently started reading a book for moms called "Tender Mercy" and I have really enjoyed it. We took a little road trip to Sea World Friday and Saturday and so I had a little free time in the car to read.  I love to read, but I am usually too busy to get to read "extra" things for just enjoyment purposes, like Christian inspirational books so I welcomed the time in the car to do that this weekend.
There was so much in the book that spoke directly to me, I think I have been so busy that my vision has become blurry trying to keep up with all that my life has had for me to do everyday lately.

I have always struggled since being a mom about being a "super mom" not that I will ever be close but feeling like I need to do everything all the time for everyone and if I wasn't doing that I was failing.

Lately though I have felt the Lord pricking my heart about things in my life ( at the time not that I even realized I was even doing it knowingly) but things like putting my family, and friends and even "church" things as a priority, above even my relationship with Him.  I love my Lord with all my heart but I have let "things" rob me of a relationship of growing closer to Him and His will for my life.  Even things He has blessed me with and yet I have allowed them to take over my life and crowded out the time I need to have more intimate time with Him, to grow in my relationship with Him, and to grow more into the person He has created me to be.

So when I was reading this book, there was so much that jumped out at me.  One thing Angela talked about in the book was how we are God breathed, He called each of our souls into being and breathed His spirit into us to give us life.  We are His precious creations designed for communication with Him.  There is no way to fulfill the true destiny of our lives, to be the woman God dreamed of when He thought of us, apart from His indwelling.
Our soul is the place God fashioned for His presence-the place where He intends to abide and to work.  Our souls are a holy place.  We were made for God.  We were designed to function poorly, to feel overwhelmed and alone, APART from our relationship with Jesus.  We were made to be lost without God.  If we look to ourselves or some worldly effort to fill our souls, then we are left empty because our souls were formed as God's dwelling place.  Our souls cannot function as intended apart from the divine and supernatural indwelling of God.              

I  had felt overwhelmed lately, feeling like I wasn't doing any of the things I love to do well, I had to stop while I was reading the book and ask the questions of myself that she ask, Who was I doing these things for, approval from man or God? Have my expectations have been misplaced?  No man can ever do what only Jesus can do in my soul.  Only Jesus can fill us, only Jesus can love us completely.  Only Jesus will meet every need.  People need (even our family and friends) Jesus to spill from our lives onto them.  We have to run to Jesus to be filled, and when we are full, everyone around us gets Jesus, my husband, my children, my family and friends. We will spill Jesus onto them from a full cup when we fun to Him first.

I just wanted to share with you some things that touched my heart. Maybe you are running on empty some days (I know I do) and maybe you already know you need to run to Him to be filled up before you can do what you need to for others, but maybe like me, you needed a little reminder to run to Him to be filled, to the One that created you and knows every hair on your head, the One that totally and completely loves you, the One and Only One that can completely fill you up so that you will spill Jesus over onto them!

My sweet family in front of the Alamo this weekend.

My treasures in front of Sea World

The sweet blessings God has given me to care for.

The reasons I want to spill over Jesus!

On this Pathway-
Jill